I Love Getting Surveys From Places That Piss Me Off

During the week of Labor Day, I went to Las Vegas on vacation for some golf, gambling and fun. Overall the trip was awesome except for one little hickup. The 2nd round of golf that I played was at a course I shall leave anonymous. I checked the website to see what the course was like and it looked really nice and for $65 a round, very affordable for golf in Vegas. My friend and I show up to the course and immediately I became angry. The grass is browned out and the place looks like hell. We get to the first hole and we find that the fairways have an inch of grass clippings on it and just about no grass underneath the clippings. I paid $65 bucks to play on this???? Easily the most poorly maintained course I have EVER played. I was so angry that my friend had to talk me into playing the back nine holes because I was ready to bounce after the 1st 9 holes. I didn’t express my displeasure until yesterday.

I got an email from said golf course asking me to take a brief survey about my experience at the course. I think it is generally correct that most people don’t take the time to praise a good experience, but will absolutely take the time to unleash the fury about a bad experience. I chuckled and began the survey. You wanted to know how I felt, now I’m going to tell you how shitty your course was.

In a nutshell, I said it was the worst golfing experience I had ever had. The staff was great and very accommidating, but I didn’t pay $65 bucks to mingle with the staff. I gave the lowest rating on everything having to do with the golf course other than the staff, so I am fully looking forward to recieving my free passes from them. If they don’t, bet your ass I’m sending another email. I didn’t want to unleash the fury, but you wanted to know how I felt so now you better listen fool

Its Election Day

Get out and vote. Sometimes we take our freedoms for granted and we don’t realize how lucky we are to be able to choose our leaders. Vote and make a difference. My name is Biff and I approve this message

The World Series Sucks

For one, The Red Sox aren’t in it so no one will watch it. They have done research on it, its true. My team is just better than yours. Besides that what the hell is wrong with Bud Selig (MLB commish). I can’t even stay up to watch these games because they end at midnight. A normal person with a responsible job, family or life can’t stay up for these games because its too damn late. And you wonder why kids arent playing baseball anymore. They love football because they can actually see all of the games during reasonable times. Please someone fire Bud Selig for being an asshat. Move the World Series games to 630pm so everyone will be happy and we can actually enjoy baseball again.

I just chipped my tooth

It doesnt hurt or anything like that but the back half of my bottom front tooth is now gone. Now im worried that if I eat food the wrong way it will chip the rest of it. This blows. I brush my teeth 2 times a day and everytime I go to the dentist, I am complimented on how straight and well taken care of my teeth are. This is kind of a life changing moment, or I am just a big pansy. Either way I will keep you updated

Gas Prices make people crazy

In my travels through Central New York, I saw the 2.84 a gallon gas craze yesterday in East Syracuse. 2 Stations were competing with each other to see who could have lowest gas prices. 1station was at 2.99 a gallon, then the other would drop to 2.90 and so on. Eventually the one station was selling gas at 2.84 a gallon. The lines were easily 20 -30 cars deep and 2-3 wide and traffic was being stopped because the cars were out in the middle of the road waiting to get gas.

As a society, we are so nieve when it comes to the way we percieve things. We see 2.84 a gallon and go bezerk because we think its going to be a great deal and apparently its worth an hour of your time just to wait. Next time, before you make your decision, step back and say it out loud to see if it is a good idea. “Wait an hour in the middle of traffic for gas” Its simple math, most cars are only saving 5-7 bucks on filling up and SUVs are saving 10-20 buck. I did the math trust me. 

If saving 10 bucks is worth an hour of your time while risking your life because you think it will break your bank, then you should probably learn how to manage your money a tad better

Homeless guy has a lot of F’N nerve

I roll into the studio this morning and as I pull into my spot which is under a bridge next to the building. Frequently under said bridge are a group of homeless people. I’m not hating on the homeless but this pissed me off beyond belief. I get to work very early in the morning and this morning I get in at about 5am. As I turn into my spot I see a homeless guy sleeping almost in my spot. My lights shine towards him and he sits up screaming and flipping me off. Dude, its a radio station, we get here really early and you have the nerve to sleep in my parking spot and get pissed when I show up. This homeless guy wasn’t one that I had seen before and the other ones leave us alone and dont say shit. If there is one thing that you need to know about me, I always carry some sort of protection in my truck simply because of reasons like that. I feel bad about waking the guy up, but don’t piss me off at 5am. Not a good move. I would be pissed off too if I had to sleep on the ground when its freezing out. On second thought, I hope you freeze assbag

Sarah Palin

I had a chance to check out the Vice Presidential debate last night and I think I am pointing out the obvious when I say that Sarah Palin is flippin hot. As I have gotten older, I seem to have taken more of a liking to older women and she flat out does it for me. She is smart, has a weird accent and looks great in business attire. Whats not to love???? Not only is she a MILF but she is soon to be a GILF. If you know what MILF is you can figure out GILF. I’m wondering how many people across the US will vote for John MCain this year based on the fact that we will have a smokin hot Vice Prez if he wins. I would imagine that it is a staggering amount. Hockey moms rule!!!!!!!!!

Of Mice and Men

2 weeks ago, I spot a mouse that ran over my foot in my basement. Yes I jumped in the air and may have screamed somewhat high pitched but who is checking. I figured I would get even by putting out traps. Not the regular mouse traps that brutally murder the mouse with the fake cheese. Oh no, I’m gonna do it with Decon, the little bastard eats it and he is toast. Genius…..that is until I come home the other night to find the mouse dead in my K-Rock shirt that I had worn the night before. For the record I love that shirt and was quite disturbed to find a dead mouse nestled into my shirt like its a homeless shelter. Even in death, the furry little bastard still got the last laugh

The Boot

For a few months there was a show on A&E called Parking Wars which chronicled the life of parking authority officers in the city of Philadelphia. After watching that show, now I understand why people in Philly are generally angry. You have got to be a sick son of a bitch if you cheer when a football player breaks his neck on the field or boo Santa Claus. At any rate, the meter maids would put boots on vehicles with an excessive amount of tickets so that when the owner returned to the car to find what they left him, he had to pay the fines to get the damn thing off. Cruel, but clever at the same time.

This morning I see a car parked down the street from the studio. I look closer and its got a boot on it. Wait til this guy gets back!!!!!!!!!  After about an hour I see the owner return to the car in a violent rage. After examining the vehicle and the boot on said vehicle for roughly 5 minutes, he decided that he wanted to leave, and no vehicle restraining device would stand in his way. Homeboy tried for a good 10 minutes to get that bitch off. He tried pulling, pushing, kicking etc. You name it, he tried it and the boot stood strong. You gotta be a pretty serious offender to get the boot, as in thousands of dollars of unpaid parking tickets. You deserve it fool. Don’t fight the man, cuz the man wins every time

Death Magnetic

New Metallica comes out today and I have only one request. Please dear god let this album not suck. Metallica owes it to the world after St. Anger. I loaned that album to someone and told them not to worry about giving it back. From what I have heard of Death Magnetic, its gonna be good. Let us take this moment to pray